He's so far in the closet he's in Narnia
So they discontinued the hummer... Now people will have to go door to door to let others know they're assholes
i threw up on the table at the pizza place and peed in her room mates closet. i wouldnt invite me back either
Hey man, sorry I chased you around the house with a small table.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
still using moms red Christmas cookie plate she sent to cut lines on. not sure I can return with a clear conscious
I remember doing shots of gin, then I have this strange memory of us making out in the womens room at waffle house.
I regret none of it.
Also just throwing this out there I don't think anyone who brings another girl back to your bed to share with you can qualify as a frigid bitch
No, you made a silk sheet toga and held up a dildo calling yourself "The Statue of Puberty". People made pilgrimages from the other party down the block to see you.
I need to reevaluate. My boss gave me drug money. I overslept on my couch. And I had my student teacher go to McDonald's and get an egg mcmuffin for me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So... How much of our rent is drug money?
Watching the series finale of Friends and crying in my Thai food. I don't like hangover Jared.
The moment when you and your BFF compare frequently used emojis and realize you have similar mental disorders and a really weak alibi.
I haven’t been this excited since I found out they sold cases of Jack Daniels.
She shouldn’t care what consenting adults do behind closed doors
You do realize it was her husband you were hooking up with behind that door, right?
I was trying to be good but he showed up with dinner and wine and I exploded. Like a bomb. A dirty, sexy bomb
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