I wish i could clap on, clap off my penis
His pubic hair was longer than his dick
vagina is talking i cant
I think I get why guys like boobs so much. I just motorboated myself and it's fun. My boobs feel soft and squishy on my face.
He was pretty out of it. He heard crickets outside, and thought it was the laptop. So he put his ear to it, rubbed the keyboard, and said "tell me your secrets."
Just because im a good person doesn't mean that I don't reserve the right to be a complete dick about it.
What made this night legendary was getting pulled over for looking suspicious while wearing an iron man mask
I think there's a problem with society when I'm shopping for lingerie and I think "man some of these would make kickass shirts"
Rigtt?!
I am laying in your bed and just found a bottle of wine under your pillow ...should have married you...
I need five more minutes of sobbing.. AND THEN I will get back to studying
You mistakenly try to piss in a cactus bush ONE TIME and are forever dubbed cactus ass
I will buy you batman underwear babe. I'll make sure you wear them every time we have to adult.
No it's like. I don't respect you. And I think you're a terrible person but. I still wanna bone it out.
I'm looking for whatever I can find, and afford without having to eat my emotional support cat
do you think mom is upset that i left with the stripper from her bachelorette party last night?
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