no, he's only a walking dick if he mans up. right about now he's just a walking transgender.
May or may not have found my way onto a stripper bus. To Chicago.
Its like a relationship where they cockblock each other.
Be prepared to possibly be invited to a fancy strip club breakfast on Friday and be prepared to say yes.
Next test. Underwater blowjob. If you fail...out of water blow job
Remember when I said "no boyfriend, no problems"? I lied. Tequila. Tequila is a problem.
Dude found out there's an open bar at the celebration of life thing for my grandma which is at noon. Now I know why I can drink so much
In complete seriousness I think I am the highest person on earth
I can't help but feel like we would be friends still if my phone didn't always capitalize BUTTLOAD...
So last night I kicked a beer can off of a frat guys head and it nailed one of my sisters in the face. Think i'll be brought up on standards?
I'm happy in my shell. My shell which consists of keeping guys in the friend zone and me masturbating...
Captain Morgan does not know self control. Nor does he teach it.
I can't believe you won 5 grand from the casio last night and spent more than 80% on tacobell and strippers already
So high I legit spent 20mins in the shower just holding my tits cuz they feel bigger than normal.
They gave my sperm a pep talk after they found out we were trying.to have.a baby.
Randomize
