I cant wait to get the disapproving look from this elderly black lady...
i hate having sex with him only a few drinks in. i like it better when i cant remember the gory details.
She said she didn't think she should have to shave either. Guess no shave November just became no sex November.
First of all...stop making excuses. Second of all...Fuck the surgeon generals warning
Made a pan flute out of the varyingly empty beer bottles on the table. Played a glorious tune that paid tribute to the winds.
There was a pirates of the caribbean marathon on. No matter how much you like rum, it is NOT possible to outdrink the pirates. They always win.
He took the Gold in Olympic clit licking last night. Canada should be proud.
Hot freshmen.....hot freshmen chicks everywhere
You say this every welcome week, bro.
This is a whole new generation of premature ejaculators
He got an erection from helping me mobilize my lumbar spine. I love physical therapy school.
Are you planning on wandering into construction sites drunk and falling down 6' holes?
probably
I think the lady at jack in the box started crying when we put in our order.
For the record you're a very classy lady and your love for and mastery of strap-ons is amazing. I would gladly marry you and father your offspring
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos
Hungover at Subway, watching a business guy try to squeeze his way past my car to get into his. Bitch shouldn'ta parked over the line.
You truly are a temple of morality.
I am the night, I am justice, I am currently watching the fat biz guy pay a frat boy to back his car up for him so he can get in.
Randomize
