his text ended with ... everyone knows dot dot dot equals infer sexy time
I think I know how big ted kennedy's penis is.
after we had sex last night he told me he smelled like my vagina. and then he said that if his roommate had a vagina he would probably smell like it. because "they hug weird and shit."
He's a firefighter, who has his own band. I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
Just got roadhead in a driving snowstorm. That shit should be a Winter X games event.
I'm 99% sure I high fived a girl over mashed potatoes last night
I knew it was different as soon as you told me you slept with him and didn't tell me about his dick
Maybe I should forgo underwear.
This is a family BBQ no?
He just kept yelling cup my balls to everyone they kicked us out after 20 min
Just had the best random sex ever with a girl I picked up from a pro choice rally uptown. God bless the Democratic National Convention.
He's not actually Jewish. Turns out he just wears the yarmulke to cover his bald spot.
I woke up and there was a mans ass as my screensaver...
So I have been told that I licked your eyebrows last night
MY DAD KEEPS LIKING PORN LINKS/ALBUMS ON FACEBOOK AND THEY ALL SHOW UP IN MY NEWSFEED
That's right. I just LL Cool J'ed you up in this bitch. Zero fucks.
Randomize
