He just asked me to come into his empty apartment after he called his parents to make sure they wouldn't come home while I was there. This is starting to look like a bad rape scene from one of those made-for-TV Lifetime movies.
I will give everyone a free pointer today. Here it goes, always pee by the house late at night to avoid getting shot by drunk bastards with guns. Never go by the tree line.
I woke up to the bathroom door of steak n shake hitting me in the face at 4 in the morning...
friends with benefits? more like friends with awkward sexual tension
im the poster child for why you shouldnt play beer pong with wine.
On the couch having a debate with the dog over whether eating anothr sweet roll will make the hangover better or worse
It feels like there's puke trying to explode out of me from behind my eyeballs.
Is it bad if I just put band-aids over my nipples? Way too hungover be dealing with a bra
Well, I just bought plan b with the tips I made from the job that I slept with my manager. So yeah, that's my life. How's yours?
Something about finishing sexting a guy and him going "well. I have to get ready for Passover now" really makes me rethink my life choices
If I could I'd magically teleport drugs and alcohol to you. Like a bad decision fairy.
Oh the best part of having sex with him was that he made me a smoothie after
you drug him to get him horny then deny him sex. freaks.
Just made my first drink, took 2 sips feel like god
Can we skype so I'm not drinking alone?
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