i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
I don't want to talk about it. He was like the Little Engine that couldn't get me off.
I wish I had my own personal Asian lady that lived under my bed so that she could wax my eyebrows and give me a pedicure whenever I wanted.
Note: footlong is not the password to the subway wi fi network.. p.s- im super high
Just woke up. My philosophy paper is a play, and my paper for musical theater is about physics. That's some dank shit you sold me
in hindsight, $10 Malibu buckets were a terrible idea...
You act like this is the first time i've fingered two 17 year olds at the same time
This whole situation could've been avoided if you would've just let me open the beer
Guess who just screamed "Everything happens for a reason!!" in the abortion clinic. This girl.
Sounds good. Look at us. Planning sex like proper adults.
i don't think i have enough personality to make it through this date sober.
At least Shia Labeouf would encourage me to do this drinking contest
But I don't see you as the jesus riding a dinosaur with a machine gun type of guy
We banged in his car behind the burrito place. Google Maps keeps asking me to rate my visit. 5/5, would cum again.
Well, thanks for not letting me sleep with anyone, but no thanks for telling everyone I have the clap.
Randomize
