Well I thought that next 8 ball would either kill us or turn us into Gods
Did you go home with that guy without me?
Sorry boo - it's pouring and I found a boy with a car
: I need to find myself a plastic surgeon husband so i can get boobs.
but u need boobs to get one in the first place.
everything is bigger in texas. Including my drinking problem.
She gave him HEAD floating down the river in a tube as big a a tire. I just don't know how to compete with that sort of level of slut.
I just realized. my grades aren't ready for st patties day...
My Pizza Lunchables won't fit in the fridge because of all your alcohol. One of our addictions has to give.
Just saw the stripper pole on the road that we threw out of the party bus last night
Your boyfriend and I are bonding over your giant dick.
i stole nothing, broke nothing, and stabbed nothing. aren't you proud of me?
he's like a horny 3rd grader on cocaine. he needs a leash
So it's ironically funny that my psychiatrist's office and my cocaine dealer's house are on the same street
I just saw a guy in a hazmat suit riding a tractor.
He can kiss the multicultural 3 some goodbye
Dude. Don't do acid and go to Disney on ice. Hear my warnings. That snow monster will fuck your shit up.
Randomize
