It was kinda weird being the boss
Did you feel like Tony Danza?
I'm single ladies-ing it in my kitchen alone. after I just made an intense new breakup cd and before I drown my sorrows by marinating alone in my jacuzzi later. I cant tell if this is a new low or a new high
I just googled "semen solvent" and got nothing. there has to be something that will wash this shit off!
I see a marketing opportunity
hahaha Yeah oh well, she wrote on my facebook wall, That's almost like a digital hand job
Slugs feel like vagina... thought you would want to know
weed brownie and a latte, breakfast of champions
HE COULDN'T FIND IT! WHAT KIND OF QUARTERBACK CAN'T FIND IT?!
Can't decide which I like more. Telling a girl she's pregnant or telling her she has herpes. It's the little things that make medicine tolerable.
His 21st birthday is in the middle of shark week, it's meant to be.
You know being hammered seven days in a row can do serious damage to your liver.
Text me on Monday and make sure I'm still alive
I literally just fucked insane clown pussy. 24 yo nut job moonlights at children's parties. Gave me head while still in full clown makeup from my kid's birthday party.
They were swingers. Real swingers. Thought it was going to be awesome until some fat guy tried to put my dick in his mouth.
We fucked so hard and loud that the everyone at the party downstairs starting chanting his name. Oh I we broke a lamp.
the girl whose rug I peed on is here
So much Jack, so little girl.
Love waking up to a new contact named “Pizza” btw
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