first missing my period. then crying at the clinic... but why?
we had sex 3 months ago. you missed your period 2 weeks ago. but nice try.
I've decided to bang my pen-pal.
I'm sorry i'm just too high to handle anything besides pirates of the caribbean right now.
Its midnight, he's burning water on the stove and keeps yelling at me and telling me not to burn myself.
It'll be just me and my penis against the world.
Should I tell her she gave me head in the kitchen while I was eating a cupcake or would that hurt her dignity too much?
I spiked my fruit smoothie. Taking bikini season diet to a whole new level
90% sure you snuck in there somewhere, all I really remember is big boobs in my face so I'm assuming it was you.
then she kicked a hole in her own door and the next thing you know, brian's walking up to her room with power tools. in no condition to use them
Im tired as fuck but i cant leave him here like this i gave him the acid and i feel the responsibillity to put his mind back together its fun im an architect about to about to construct a whole new belief and moral system inside this soul. Talk about the best psychothearpy
It looks like I promised him my virginity, in spanish. What the hell did you give me?
Denis dont give a fuck, Denis drinks out of straws. Denis disregards the fire station & bought 18 fire hoses so he can fight it himself if the farmhouse is on fire.
IT ISN'T. I'M A LITTLE HIGH.
YOU'RE ALWAYS A LITTLE HIGH.
NO. IT'S RARE THAT I'M A LITTLE HIGH. I'M ALWAYS HIGH AS FUCK. THERE'S A DIFFERENCE.
I don't even care that it's before church. I feel like God actually wants me to have this shower beer.
She and I had some intense sexual tension earlier when she dumped a package of apple straws all over my body.
Randomize
