Almost ran you over in the parking lot. You look good
i woke up in the lobby of Holiday Inn on a chair sitting up straight
part of it is the fact that im problem drinking, and the other part is my OCD wont let me leave the bottle half-empty.
If it wasn't obvious enough to the cops that she was drunk, she threw in, "I like the colors of the lights because it makes purple."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She took a picture of me when she thought I was sleeping. I don't know whether to be amused or scared.
I'm lonelier than Tom Hanks in Cast Away, right meow. Ready to make this bong my Wilson.
Not rlly sure. Might just drink and sleep. Gotta wake up for my last rabies shot lol
I'm wearing the jeans from casino night. Tell me why I have a napkin in my pocket that says 'dont fear me'? I'm hoping it was just a coincidence.
Just found a note from Saturday that says "rainy soft hair".... Any ideas?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We got kicked out of the ice rink last night for drinking and checking strangers... but they let us keep the beer
I had a 10 minute conversation with the refrigerator, it was telling me how it likes to be opened and closed. Ecstasy, I love you.
hoooly shit dude in taco costume challenged alpha douche to a fight. he's got catch phrases. come. now.
apparently I stole your wolf lighter. probably bc you made me howl while you puked over your deck railing.
I have four things I would like to do over summer too... Problem is they're all roommates
I wasn't going to drink. Then there was alcohol so I gave that up.
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