do u usually make out with people before telling them your name???
He should be on Bizare Foods after who he ate last night
Oh no. He has the "I'm 30 years old and I just shit myself in public" face.
Why is there a living, breathing cow on your front porch?
Well, if your day started with strippers, then we're tied. Otheriwse, I'm winning.
i dont know what it was but it was definately NOT a vagina
Protip: If you slur the word 'tipsy', you've progressed beyond tipsy.
When were having sex he was mumbling some guys name. If he wasn't as hot as he is I'd be concerned.
i love when the champions come out to play im bringin the shock collar this weekend
We're listening to space jam. This can only be a good omen.
I banged a guy named Robbie last night and in the middle of sex he begged me to scream santos. I'm pretty sure I just screwed a dude with multiple personalities.
CALL ME OLD FASHIONED BUT PEE IS FOR TOILETS
I COULD CUT A FUCKING DIAMOND WITH MY RIGHT NIPPLE RIGHT NOW HOLY FUCK
No just a list of 20 of my favorite things
Where are penises on the list
Where am I on the list
Under penises
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
Randomize
