This row in front of you is like duck, duck, goose - but eating disorder, eating disorder, failed eating disorder
why im i the only drunk person in the library?
the jail released me with 39 mardi gras beads. I need details.
She was ugly to the point i wanted to brush my teeth after looking at her
Just accidentally pinched my dick between two 50 pound dumbbells while doing shoulder shrugs. God hates me.
I started to trust fall random people on the dance floor
I maybe just had sex outside in broad daylight. At a state park. Please be proud.
Btw. Made out with a random kid at a frat. It's all good though. He invited us to his frat party tomorrow so yay! For having plans!
What goes on in that head of yours?
Gay sex, for the most part. Why?
If is anything like my past relationships, I have no doubt that I will single-handedly reignite the Cold War
How frowned upon is it to take your vibrator into the tanning bed...because Operation: dripping wet is in full swing and I have a busy schedule
I see the guy who's been trying to get me to let him eat my ass became engaged on Facebook today; would framed screen shots be an appropriate wedding present?
90% sure the total babe I have been talking to all night has a kid. Ugh, so sad right now.
Im so high
Alcohol. Making me feel good about myself since 2008
He punched me in the face while giving him road head, because he was driving stick. I shit you not.
Randomize
