The mall is playing a fucking country mix of lady marmalade.
welcome to maine.
i was concerned by what you said you would do for a snickers. It wasn't even a Klondike bar.
Caught my drug dealer jacking off. I think this is a new step in our relationship
Is it awkward to ask someone I've slept with to officiate my wedding?
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i was super drunk. to the point where i was putting shredded cheese on a fork, putting hot sauce on it then dipping it in salsa. it was awesome.
I can feel the alcohol in my calves
I am wearing two different shoes and just swallowed my gum. Wake the fuck up and bang the bartender already.
I think that was him coming out to me. I just brushed it off
I don't mean to insult you, but did you leave your training bra in my bedroom last night?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know what, don't say anything. You all made fun on me for saying I would fuck him junior year when he taught us algebra and six years later, HERE I AM.
I'm gonna call it the Reunion Tour. Hooked up with two different ex girlfriends in one day...
Sometimes I just want to serenade his penis with cheesy 80s songs.
Where the fuck are you? I just got punched in the nose by a tourist
ok but bondage is pretty much my easy mode
I was asked to be part of a mmf threesome. I think I'd rather stay home, watching Orange is the New Black and cuddle with my cat though
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