bobby jindal makes me wanna cover my ears. you make me wanna smile.
Nicole vs. Life
How fat would you say she has to be before I can consider this a threesome
Guess who got arrested for public drunkiness, and called jimmy johns for the entire station last night instead of someone to bail me out? The cop that arrested me drove me home. Win.
I wouldn't really call it 'getting lucky' considering I paid her to do it.
Is it appropriate to get drunk, stand up at the wedding and make a toast to "the time the lovely bride asked me to come on her chest"?
our generation is not ready to get married
How long is it safe to eat only Hot Pockets and Popsicles?
She was doing lines off of her friends boobs in the limo at 9 oclock on a thursday This has the potential to be the best weekend ever
Make good choices ;) This is your automated cockblock message
Does making ice cubes at 4 in the morning count as being productive?
Only sluts go out in this weather carpe diem boys
He's worked out some sort of arangment where all three of them are dating each other and they've all moved into an apt. with two king beds pushed together
A true beacon of hope in these dark times
He will be so fat that the winter can not penetrate his blubber.
NO FUCKBOY SHALL PASS OPERATION #BITCHMODE HAS SUCCEEDED
I just found my phone after looking for it since yesterday afternoon it was in the fridge.
Randomize
