i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
And i quote: "where's y'alls from comin' in with them accents?" - from a mississipi mcdonalds
If I saw her on the street and didn't know about the two of them, I would think the only way she'd ever find love was if she somehow found her way to middle earth and an orc took her in
I thought short asians scared me, however seeing my first tall asian I'm terrified.
then again I'm sitting on a tree stump completely naked in the dark listening to some type of glee soundtrack.
You've eaten a Lean Pocket for every meal for at LEAST 3 days now. Get your life in line.
I'm pretty sure he told me he was sterile and I told him I was on the pill. The positive pregnancy test I'm holding in my hand right now tells me that at least one of us was lying.
I just feel like I should give it a rest. I'm too old to be drinking bottles of grey goose and falling into koi ponds.
WAIT DID YOU MAIL ME A KITTEN
why do all the dudes in this porno look like billy ray cyrus
Positive reinforcement! I'm training him for being a good boy and coming over. He gets sex and cookies.
My vagina feels like a chupacabra ripped me apart using its mythological set of needle pointed teeth
Did I literally just offer a blowjob for help moving? Yes. Yes, I did.
That man fucks like a champ. The sex was so good I did him again in the morning just to be sure
I'm sorry I get my lefts and rights confused because I'm dyslexic. But, it took you at least 15 minutes to figure out it wasn't your room OR YOUR HUSBAND.
Randomize
