so high. i feel like my whole body is a boner
She just sent me a picture of a heart. I need to stop fucking freshman...
Woke up. Made a pizza. Burnt it. Going back to bed cuz today sucks
Why do guys in porn never have boxers on?
better question: why do you always text me when you're watching porn
Dude pussy is like music. For every person who pays for it, there are thousands more getting it for free.
Shots and making dong molds for my gf's friends. Typical Monday night activities.
I deem her datable let the dance of attraction commence
Also was told that I was her "third favourite booty call" - I'm taking this a good thing right?
It's a podium place so yeah...
You asked the waitress what the corking fee would be on the Joose you smuggled into the restaurant.
And then we can spend New Year's Day sprawled across the tiles watching greys anatomy and puking into the bushes over the balcony. It'll be great
I think you just miss his friendship.
I think it's his ability to give me multiple orgasms.
Dude at the bar last night came into the bathroom, drop kicked the stall open and start saying lines from happy Gilmore as he was shitting, "go in your home! Are you too good for your home?!"
I left at 4:30 in the morning and I told him it was because I had to take my contacts out
I'm a grown ass woman. Treat me like one. Fuckboy
apparently ive been in a long term relationship for the past 1 1/2 years w/ out knowing
Randomize
