He looks too sensitive, like he's going to write me a poem and cry after the first time we have sex.
doing shots has become such a natural thing to me that i just instinctively swallowed listerine
Well, he sent me "techno kitty adventure" about 10 minutes ago. So, he could be anywhere.
Some guy seriously just got Jimmy Johns delivered to him at the graduation ceremony. This cannot be real life.
What's a quick way to get over an ex-boyfriend? To hear about how he threw up in a cup and then drank it. That's how.
I found him down the block clinging to a light post laughing and crying because a house "looked like it had buck teeth"
the fact that i already established a hook up buddy for thanksgiving break is genius
He sent me a limp picture of his penis with the caption " same ol, same ol' I cant believe these are the type of guys I sleep with
You went over didnt you?
I told people at my moms bar that all I needed to sober up was to get my asshole licked, and I blame you 110%.
He was gunna drive a half hour for a makeout sesh. Time to take the diapers off and learn about the wonders of the penis, dude
It's like all the guys I keep around if I wanna have sex with all got mad at the same time. I guess I'll get out my vibrator again.
She yelled out "MCDREAMY" mid orgasm
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
I just brought her a lipstick taser. So just remember that the next time you get smart with her
They tried to get you to drink water and all you kept shouting was, "NO MORE LIQUIDS OF *ANY* KIND."
Randomize
