I just saw a guy give a mop to his fat wife and say "Look, an exercise stick!"
you know how i said i wouldn't send that pic message of your lofted bed falling from you fucking a fat chick? that was after i sent it to your mom
trsut me youll find me, im the only kanye west here and every1 is chanting dbag at me
I took my pants off in the cab and tried to bite his ear. Not going oout for awhile
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The floor and the wall just switched. I'm falling.
just remembered spooning on the cardboard and confessing to each other we had the spins.
No clues in my phone. Only dialed call: my own social security number. And that was before 10:00pm.
Just put an ad on Craigslist for a fake groom... I'm sure only non creepy sane people will respond to it
I made him an O's fan. One pic of my tits coming out of a Baltimore shirt and it was done.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I got slapped by a drag queen and bitten on the arm by either a random girl or a weird mouth shaped dog. Tough to tell without seeing the teeth
I have a sixth sense for large penises and lack of morals
The fact that the praying hands are in my top emojis defines how 2016 is going so far
another side note: i'm officially selling my underwear on the internet
The single life is the freaking dream dude. I'm sitting here naked, eating chocolate mousse, and watching Gilmore girls. It's wonderful
passed out on bart again and decide to bike home. biked thru a goat farm of angry goats, biked on the freeway, got stopped by the cops, and sat shotgun in the squad car while the officer driving got a video on his iphone of his partner riding my bike on the freeway.
Randomize