I'm so turned on right now it's fucking stupid. I hate burger king commercials
I just puked in my fish tank. Helloooooo summer.
you woke me up at 7 am banging on my wall.. what the hell
thats the international knock for joint time
I saw someone get arrested while I was moving out...this has to be a good sign.
I just took my birth control with a water bottle I found in my purse with vodka in it in Spanish class. 10am is still too early for me.
Dude he was a used car salesman for his friends' penises. I know I have something here that's right for you!
IF HE CAN'T EVEN MAKE EYE CONTACT IN CLASS, I DOUBT THERE WILL BE OTHER FORMS OF CONTACT ON OUR FIRST NOT-A-DATE DATE
Yeahhh, apparently my brothers think its ok not to check on me if a creeper is talking to me bc i "like those weirdo types"
He says I vaguely mumbled happy New year, kissed him, threw up and then went back to sleep.
I just want to make out with him forever
What's an appropriate outfit for wearing to hangout with a girl you've talked to once, and had a 4way with?
And to celebrate the raising of our lord I just purchased a bunny buttplug. Am I doing this Easter thing right?
He sang a ten minute song about me sitting on his face and eating quesadillas. Pretty sure I have to marry him.
Tinder date just called. I was supposed to be there 30 minutes ago but I'm on a 27 game win streak in Park...?
Fuck that man! Tell her your dog died or something. Reschedule that shit, you can't stop 2K at a time like that. Ball is life bro... Priorities.
I could hear it slapping against his thighs under the robe!!!!!!!!! You are a lucky girl!
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