why cant girls ever use the fly? why do they always have to awkwardly try to pull it over your belt?
i thought to myself 'what a productive day'. then i realized all ive done is one load of laundry and shaved my balls.
if they reproduce, their children will be the worst quarters players ever
You came in as I got off work, ordered us jack and cokes. Put them on my tab, and then proceeded to fall asleep on the bar.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he was too drunk to climb up my loft. i owe my beating teen pregnancy to four pieces of steel
Somehow it went from suicide to pierced nipples. I think we're good.
All I want is to send a text that says "i slept with someone while wearing nothing but purple argyle socks this weekend." But the only person i would send that to is you. But you already know. Because they were your socks.
Well, I made it thru a doorway, so I think things are going good.
I thought we were but then I freaked myself out. So I kind of geared him up for take off and then cancelled the launch
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh by "being festive" I mean make tacos for dinner.
He started to lick a stick of butter and was calling it Jennifer.
She gave me a roadie as we drove home from fireworks. People were still lighting off their displays as we drove by. I love America.
Is it bad that I'm not at all bothered by the fact that to some people I'm simply known as the girl that takes her shirt off?
Panties = found
His mom knocked on the door during morning sex because we were being too loud...now i have to meet her for the first time
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