Well, what part of "I've heard she has crabs" didn't you take into consideration?
beer pong: waldo and ernie vs. bacon and eggs... i love halloween
We got a party bus for the nite. I found out the hard way why stripper poles are meant for girls.
she wants me to meet her parents and she hasn't even met my penis yet.
if we dont hook up this weekend, im doing both his roommates
As weird as that was it was probably the best advice i've ever gotten from a tranny
Chick took off her bra in the middle of class cuz it was "too hot." How's going out of state feel now?
At this point I just want to meet a man with a job.
Shots. Renamed a guy (he looked like a Scott to me), running, bloody Marys, walk to Safeway, donuts, ride home from someones husband, Nurse Jackie. FIN.
ugh... fuck pirate breakfast. my head is like thirsty.
In the middle of blowing him I looked at him and said "Your so old..." and then continued. I need to stop drinking.
The trash can in my living room is full of Popsicle sticks and my vibrator has taken up permanent residence on my coffee table. I'm not doing anything productive. Clearly.
Hi please disregard the last text and if you'd like our entire interaction
Done
The quality of my porn watching experience has significantly declined. Thanks shattered iphone screen
I woke up to find I still had sequins under my tits. I'd say Sunday was a success.
Randomize
