Your mouth is God's brothel.
I guess you can say it's a tradition... whoever brings home the ugliest guy has to do all the cleaning the next day
Girl passed out in class and vomited. Another victim of syllabus week
My getting drunk and marrying a stranger in Vegas final court annulment papers just came in the mail... I might frame that shit
The security guard popped his head over the mens room door and goes "nice tits- now get out." Deer in headlights moment right there.
Here's the level of my committment: I'm not participating in the Olympic opening ceremonies drinking game. THIS IS SERIOUS.
I've been buying my puppy dildos for chew toys. I can't wait till a girl comes over and my dog is gnawing on a giant black cock
You told the cop you where the star of the Track team and tried to run away. So yeah, i'm not surprised.
I just saw a stripper light her nipples on fire. Im terrified and impressed all at the same time
Discovery: bouncers seem to get really upset about fire
It was a mess. I sat on the kitchen floor with maple whiskey and cried into a bowl of poutine. I've never even been to canada
Hooked up with a 20 year old. Only reason I did was cos I thought he was 18
She is dumping me if she doesn't get a ring by Valentines. So one more month of free sex and it will be back to the right hand.
Well, why would you bring gelado into a strip club?
I'm going to be there later than expected. There was a yo-yo incident...
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