My ass is singing 4 different tunes right about now... Taco Bell was a bad idea!
I want to give you a handjob with my mouth.
Let's get naked and see who's stronger.
So I've officially decided that I AM that drunken mistake that girls hate themselves for in the morning.
She tried to lure me back to her house by saying she had "real" pizza.
do you still have a key to my apartment? Without going into too much detail locked myself out naked on the patio, currently using a deck cushion to cover myself so kids walking home from school dont see me
Two dudes. Loud music. Dancing shirtless possibly naked. Why would I ever need cable?!
i ended up playing naked naked monopoly and hangman with my dealer. i really love my life.
I woke up to find my purse full of puke, and all I could think was not again.
He's trying to marry me, when is the appropriate time to tell him my real name and that Dallas is a completely fictitious slutty alter ego? I need the advice of someone with morals.
I'm sure it's not the worst thing to ever come out of my ass
I've decided that I'm okay with you getting a goat. I have to get over my completely rational fear of goats somehow.
Cant leave im designed bacon maker you come here
I'm so sad at the lack of dick in my life I am going to get sauced and make rice krispy treats
He is saved in her phone as Sir. Mindfuck <3/ vag cleaner of course I need to meet him.
Randomize
