PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
She went from zero to smokin in five shots
You drinking a lot?
No.
Define a lot
My teachers should feel privileged to see me this morning, after the amount of alcohol I consumed last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he just asked me to email him a handle of captain morgans...how sober do you think he is?
Waking and baking in my bathtub. In a giant sweater. And no pants. This is going to be the best 420 ever.
Does it count if I'm only ambidextrous while masturbating?
How am I feeling this morning? Well, besides the fact that my vagina looks like a pair of giraffe's lips and I'm walking like an over-confident cowgirl, I'm fantastic. Thanks for your concern.
You yelled "NICE PAJAMAS" at a construction worker wearing a reflective jumpsuit while we rode past on a bike taxi
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
YO CONGRATULATIONS ON YOUR MÉNAGE À TROIS. YOU GO, GLENN COCO
I was on antibiotics for a bladder infection and couldn't drink and you told me there was no longer room in your life for me.
Comedy Central is in dire need of more sitable faces late at night - Trevor Noah has a baby face - there are federal rules against those types of sexual fantasies
you face planting the wall was epic
did you at least save my tooth
I miss the pre Covid days when we could meet men in bars. Hitting on guys in the grocery store is just depressing
Have you considered murder?
Other than my credit score and this bowl of oatmeal, not really. It's very messy
Randomize