I would give away a ton of these clothes but I doubt there are any homeless people who dress as slutty as me
don't worry, your friend will b fine, they treat virgins nicely around here
repeat this after me. period at the beach is better than baby at the beach. breathe. and: period at the beach is better than baby at the beach.
he's the only person i know who can drink himself into and out of alcohol poisoning.
I was still in a towel. We hadn't even started drinking yet and the champagne bottle dropped and exploded literally up into my vagina.
That's your penis' name. I've always referred to it as Alejandro secretly.
can i bring anything?
Any of the following: Sex doll, side dish, fruits/vegetables that look like dildos, beer
is there a theme i should know about?
If you want it you better put a ring on it. And by ring I mean one of my three favorite pies.
And the cops are back. At least my pants are on this time
We could have a classy candlelight sonic dinner with fireball cocktails if you leave now. Twat tickler centerpieces.
You passed out and I didn't draw a penis on your face. Sister of the year.
I would date him. For 1 month. Just so I could say I was a trap queen for 1 month.
Sorry I called bc I needed help peeing outside
But I did it
There were firefighters and a fire truck up the street. I asked what was wrong and their exact words were "Just a tiny explosion; it'll be all right"
Do you know how difficult it is to masturbate with Christmas carols stuck in your head?!
Randomize
