I solve my problems like an adult, at the strip club drinking on a work night.
wow, farting in latex pants is really awkward.
Dude, I just saw a bird vs. squirrel fight. A car won.
I wish I was a guy so I could jack myself off anytime I wanted to
I don't want to eat him, he probably tastes terrible.
Before he took off his pants he paused and said, "Remember..sometimes great things come in small packages."
i feel as uncomfortable as your camel toe looks.
at the hospital. the stripper fell on his face when she was trying to grab the dollar bill out of his mouth with her ass. broken nose for sure.
I found him in bed on a pullout couch with another dude. He had two empty puke buckets and his empty bottle of jagermeister right by his head.
Walking into the first day of college is like walking into a meat market. A meat market of sex.
I am drunk please bring Taco Bell and sex
Never mind I found pizza just bring sex
I think you just miss his friendship.
I think it's his ability to give me multiple orgasms.
Well just saw that professor I hooked up with on campus and I look like a dumpster baby
He gave me an extra phone charger for the other side of the bed the other night. Is that love?
Your dad was just slow dancing with the priest and holding a beer. Classic
Randomize
