I just don't understand how my upright asian catholic roommate is getting more than me.
I just woke up and checked my e-mail, and apparently while drunk I bought a blowtorch. Thought you'd want to know.
He just slept in my bed for a couple hours and asked lots of questions about gay sex. No, I do not have his number.
Didn't know what to wear so I ripped off my bed sheets and tied myself a toga. "a little hungover" is no way to describe me right now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
there's no way I could forget finding someone else's hand in my pants
You are like the only girl I know who tells their booty call to go find another girl just cause you want more sleep.
WHY AM I CRAWLING IN OLDER MEN HOLY JESUS
Testing the emergency boobs hotline
Was it cause you feel bad for the ridiculousness my vagina goes through because same
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can say with absolute certainty the only time we ever had a civil conversation was when we agreed we both liked pizza.
Of course I fucked her, her man stole my bike when we were kids
I just sent him a message bearing my soul about how much he means to me as a friend and his first response is "are you drunk?"
Shit like this is why I'm a bitch to everyone.
I love that we can live in a world where I can Google "Harry Potter lizard" and an illustration for my dream pops up
Worst sex ever! He was a talker for sure! I was on top and out of no where he said "Oh you bad bitch?" I stopped and left.
I think I deserve an award for the breakup text I sent him. Like a pulitzer prize or a donut or something.
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