I'm pregaming with America's Best Dance Crew.
Do a shot everytime Lil' Mama mispronounces a word.
Just saw a man in a wheel chair using his feet to push himself backwards through a crosswalk... good morning Atlanta
I just gave the bartender my number in roman numerals. If she figures it out, she's worth a shot
i just found my sim card.....i hid it in my tylenol bottle....i guess to ensure i would find it mid-hangover
Are you seriously picking mariokart over a blowjob? nott to sound like a bitch but seriously?
I literally stabbed myself so I had a valid reason to get out of having sex with her
It got to the point that I had to make flashcards with their name on the front and dick pics on the back.
this lesbian fantasy crush is getting WAY out of hand. just spent an entire meeting staring at her long fingers thinking, "oh those could be fun"
Dude, it's the frankincense and myrrh soap. Smelling like baby Jesus will get you laid.
She had forties taped to her hands and was trying to give him a hand job while he was passed out, with everyone in the living room.
I knew it would get worse when I said I think your roommate is watching and he looked over at him and said ... So?
its weird that my cat bites every fat chick i bring home. i repeat every fat chick, qhT KINDA FRIEND ARE YOU
The fact that you got a stranger guy to buy you a pizza off tinder makes me feel amazing
As a member of the kink community, I feel grossly misrepresented
I just found out why people like handcuffs.
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