Steve is enlightening me on how and why u put gerbils up your ass
I'm so hungover, I actually considered rolling down the stairs to avoid walking.
we played lady & the tramp with a hash brown from McDonald's....im in love.
any chance you can send me your legal ethics outline, in exchange for say, me buying you a lapdance the next time we go to the strip club?
We drank a $4 handle of tequila until 5 am. Please think about that.
Her pussy was so beautiful. That's what I'LL miss the most. Not the omelets. You're the roommate, obviously our priorities on this situation are vastly different.
MAYDAY. glass in foot, have crush on guy with mullet.life is over.
Dude so last night I was eating out my gf and her kitten climbed onto my back and fell asleep. AND SHE DIDN'T NOTICE FOR LIKE 10 MINUTES
O was like, nah, fuck 50-50. My version of bi is that i'm 80% gay, 20% drug-addled decisions. Apparently he's straight on hallucinogens.
Did you leave a mouse under my pillow again?
I'm starting to think that Cosmic Steve ripped me off
I'm eating animal crackers on my bed next to my vibrator writing about the hopelessness and depravity of humanity. I am LIVING.
I didn't have anyone to cheers so I tapped my beer on your fish tank... a little too hard
See I am maturing. I just got in from my DRIVE of shame......
We made a blanket fort in my dorm room and fucked in it. Twice. I'm in love.
Randomize
