If my body was a temple, I pissed all over the front stairs last night..
I love having hate sex.
Stop blaming waffle house for all your problems
Give me a heads up the next time you BBM me a voicenote of you cumming so I'll make sure not to play it while in the car with my parents. Miss you too.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We've shared an experience, my friend. I, too, have talked on the phone with a parent while giving a handjob
You know, be my cock's hype man.
So just to get a feel for things...how prone are you to male Amish strippers...
I woke up locked in the bar...this has redefined partying.
I NEVER left your party last night of anyone asks.
Yeah, I didn't wake up handcuffed to my bed either.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Now that we both have boys can we make up games that objectify them as sex toys?
Last time we had a party like that I woke up naked on the pool table with a chalk outline around me and a empty bottle of jager duct taped to my hand.
Yea. I'm excited about this party too
I don't care if he was in that porno. He looked like he knew what he was doing.
I walked in her room to find her rubbing lotion on her face high as fuck.
How do you tell an ex that banging less hot chicks than me is highly insulting? I almost want to try and get him laid with a pretty girl just to save some face for dating him so long.
Are you jealous of my sweatsuit? It's how I get men on Tinder.
Randomize