I don't know if it's her mysterious past or atrocious grammar, but I think I'm in love.
Wait, we're on the hunt for addys and explosives. They're both in this house somewhere.
Do you remember snorting allspice and yelling at doughnut shop girl?
Totally passed out on the dealers bed after paying him all in ones so no, i dont think i'll be getting a discount soon.
Tell me not to purchase 500 ball pit balls and a kiddy pool
No
I just had nipple jewelry returned to me in the law library.
I just tried on my "outfit" for tonight and I should just wear sweatpants and a sign on my face that says I like it in the ass. That would be more comfortable
Fuck you, you can't judge me til you've smelt my boobs.
All i remember his him yelling yahtzee while pouring beer down her shirt .
Her mom is a nurse who got called in to declare someone dead. Just got wing manned by a corpse.
But what I'm actually thinking about is how everyone except me had sex on my bed this weekend and now I'm just sleeping in it with a 7 foot tall blue panda
How did you interpret 'wheat thins' from 'vaginal trauma'?
So after we found out he wasnt throwing up blood in was just hawaiian punch and we all failed breathalyzers the cop drove us around like a taxi and brought us back to the apartment
I just wanna be naked and go frolic in the snow
In hindsight I shouldn't have been blasting Antichrist Superstar if I didn't want to seem suspicious driving up to a Catholic church
Randomize
