And now his mom knows I was dipping my pen in company ink
me and my sister are feeding my dog poprocks. this is proof you don't need a lot of money to have fun.
even in my darkest moments, having another person eat my jizz would make me smile
And then like 10 minutes later they were taking a bath together. HOW DOES HE DO IT.
it's my sixth sense. If there's an orgy within 20 miles of me i'll know about if. Or be a part of it.
It was horrifying, i havent seen a girls mouth open that wide since that one episode of Goosebumps..
If life deals in absolutes, the in betweens are the most hairy.... Fortune cookie wisdom from a stoned Megan.
I think I might be drunk enough to cut my own hair
I will give you the couch, a small portion of the fridge, and plenty of beer.
Got my future figured out. I'm oddly comforted. Thanks, bro.
What if everything solid was made of oreos and everything liquid was wine
I just got chills
Apparently I blamed my BAC on the Saint Louis Cardinals...how is that not a valid excuse?!
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
wyd
Laying here debating on if i want a sandwich or an orgasm.
He told you he loved you. Then you wanted to find a chainsaw to cut his dick off.
Remember that time we were together? Yeah, I don't miss that.
Randomize
