that's when I learned why R Kelly peed on that bitch
Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
she was like a sexier Rosie O'Donnel
you just used "cock block" and "youth group" in the same sentence. somethings wrong with you.
So can you tell me who's underwear is on the cat?
I'm making tacos. Give me one good reason why we shouldn't be high while eating those tacos.
Well, that's a 3 inch weight lifted off of my vagina
I'm really hoping to find some quality strange ass tonight while at my court appearance.
She said " I'm going to get her back one day soon for putting extacy in my pop while I drove her to whislter" just a heads up.
That's why we don't trade sex for Taco Bell. It's called the dollar menu.
We went to Olive Garden so high we didn't talk and managed to be awkward enough for the waiter to ask if it was our first date
We can't shop at Hobby Lobby anymore. They don't like Plan B which basically runs through our veins.
We fucked for 9 months, but he didn't want anything serious. So, I got rid of him and went on a date with a guy last night that looks like Kylo Ren. Who's really winning here?
I feel a blackout coming on
Plz don't have me burst into your house saying you're late for re airport to rescue you from a fat girl again
That was 2 times
So... Sorry we took your wife to the strip club last night... And sorry we bought her that lap dance... I think you're getting closer to your dream of a threesome, though.
Randomize
