i will soon be in a relationship on fb
you!?
me and your mom. i mean, lisa.
just apologized to a random stranger while waiting in line for coffee. last night was that drunk
being a part time student has turned me into a full time alcoholic.
Dude they have ski ball. Anywhere that has skiball is bound to be bangin.
No. untill you have done a puke that contains nothing but semen and tequila, you do not 'feel my pain'
We were squawking at each other for over an hour like chickens. Literally. Never touching the stuff again and never again showing my face at that Denny's.
He started to notice that i sleep with every girl he calls dibs on.
Seriously? He's going to use MY birthday sex as the opportunity to ask if he can pee on me?!? I let him, but wow talk about selfish.
Update: I only have one shoe. The other one now belongs to the gods of jello-wrestling. May it rest in peace.
Your lack of dedication to alcohol is forcing me to drink with my ex husband. U suck
We told her to calm down. She said "I'm Buddha!". Then army crawled to the cooler for more vodka.
We celebrated International Women's Day by spending $700 and taking our tops off at the strip club
The boys offered to pay but we went halfs because we're feminists
Ok despite the fact that both you and I love dick we could have a great marriage
He stopped mid sex to pour wine in my mouth...
Marry him.
No I got a fucking mosquito bite on my vagina. Summer is off to a bumpy start.
Randomize
