Yea and his cousin visited from central and i fucked her i was texting him at work teasin him about it but sent it to his mom by accident
There was so much of it... it was like he poured a bowl of pudding on my face. It's not bad for your hair is it?
too bad being hungover isnt a job. just threw up from 9am to 5pm
I'm glad my gym is open 24 hours..I stopped in on my way home to puke from the bar
I don't even know where to begin....there's queso sauce and public hair stuck to everything
Apparently we were arguing for captain seats so I shouted "who has your virginity." I got the seat.
Based off the amount of cat hair on my poncho....i stole a cat last night.
You know, I think I'm going to rock the shit out of this whole mid-twenties thing. Fuck babies and weddings -- I have vodka and young cock.
I just did shots of fireball with my dad in a car wash. How's your pregaming going?
he fell asleep naked and all I'm doing is staring at his weird balls
well I didn't shave for the hot dilf I banged last week so I'm sure as hell not shaving for you. Sry
He broke into my house because he missed me. Then ends the relationship because I'm the needy one. Ironic much?
I felt I lost my designated buddy on a field trip when you wandered off to get high with strangers.
Fantasizing about the apocalypse is fun and shit until the conditions that could lead to one suddenly seem feasible
you walked 30 min all the way back to the dorms at 2am?
i was more bummed that i dropped all my skittles.
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