Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
So she couldn't stop dragging her teeth while she was blowing me.
Ahh dude, that fucking sucks, what'd you do about it?
Decided to drag my teeth while eating her out... She got the point.
last night i used 411 to try and contact britney spears.
dollar well spent
my quiz for the book was only 2 questions and my one answer was sorry and then a sad face
Drinking at work by myself... My boss just walked into me copying my face on the copy machine..
just once i'd like the "right thing" and the "topless thing" to be the SAME THING
just had to sit in the middle of an aisle in stop and shop because we're too hungover and needed to take a break.
Shes definitely an expert at this. Her happy hour goes from 4 to 11, then she starts drinking heavy. She also allots 15 minutes each hour for a pee/bj break
You are not allowed to borrow my car ever again. It smells like a hobo orgy happened in my backseat with a hint of onion. What did you do.
Come on, without my personality, I'm a pretty good one night stand.
I think I'm in love. He's everything I ever wanted for myself, just with a lot more drugs.
You stole my crutches last night at the bar, the DJ had to ask for them to be returned
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
I just can't do Wednesdays sober anymore
I'm glad I didn't see Grandma stumbling drunk and peeing herself...it would be like seeing my future.
Randomize
