Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
True story: Just left my solo cup on a cop car. Yesss
he had to chose between the booze and condoms
what did he choose?
the booze, then looked at me and said, plan b is free right?
you know you made some mistakes when your last two boyfriends are both obsessed with women's curling...
i had the all of mcdonalds chanting USA as he motorboated you
Might just stay in and drink cuz of the hurricane. Yea I think Wisconsin might be safe but its a good reason to drink.
I can only get completely wasted and hungry two more times and then we're out of fritos.
There are cops on horseback in our back yard
Perfect. And my grandma just called me and talked to me for eighteen minutes telling me that she was worried because of my Halloween costume that I'm not a Christian and that I'm not eating. Wtf.
Just so you know, your wedding is in the same place I gave my first bj.
I stood on the corner waiting to be picked up, dry heaving, and trying to block out the sun.
I went from naked with lasts nights hookup to Ihop in 6 minutes flat
I think that's a new house record
I haven't received a dick pic from him lately. He's not even my boyfriend and I'm concerned. I hope he's alright.
The last thing I remember from that party was me shouting "hold my feet I'm going in strapped like Rambo"
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone dad. And you’re also like a second dad to me who I also send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
Randomize
