It was my birthday today and i decided that i am not checking my notifications on facebook so ill feel popular
Wrong number and your a loser
Maybe you should have studied instead of worrying about who is going to have sex with you
it can't be normal that my body odor smells like fries
so i walked in, looked up the stairs and all i saw was smashed pumpkin, tube socks, and marinara sauce
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't know. I guess at the end of the day I wanted taco bell more than a boyfriend.
Totally get that.
You tried to get me to kick my booty call out at 3am by tempting me with a trip to ihop
There were 11 girls in that minivan and everyone was either puking, crying, or yelling "we're a total shit show"
Also I climbed atop a mailbox with a toilet paper hat and a wolverine claw made of glowsticks, screaming at passers-by that they were going to die. Control me
Next person that gets my dog drunk is paying to have my carpet cleaned. I am tired of getting up to pee and stepping in dog barf.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you should probably know that there's a naked dude in your window
i wouldn't normally say anything but you seem to not be there
it's like his dick is making a u-turn.
And the sky opened up and god said.... "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!!!!"
mom how many of the songs from my childhood are mexican drinking songs?
all of them.
is it bad that I see hot guys I wanna sleep with as challenges instead of actual people?
yes. but it works for you
Alex thinks he can revoke my dick privileges haha.
Isn't he the one getting all the privileges ?
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