Lady with a stroller in a bar. Think she's out of my league?
so my phone accidentally called my dad from my purse at 2:14am....he has a 5 min voicemail of me discussing how Alicia should bang the guy who eats good pussy... i can never look at my dad in the face again....
driving around with you guys listening to the beach boys made me very concious of how white you all are.
She called me her ex's name in a supermarket. How boring am I that she livens up shopping by thinking of another guy?
Packing up everything in the dorm. Silly bands to unused condom ratio is ridiculous.
Fell in the ditch running from the pizza guy I stole the pizza from. If you are still at my house come find me, pretty sure I need stitches.
I have her designated blowjob hair tie on my wrist. It's like a key to eternal happiness
NEVER LET ME DO THIS AGAIN I FEEL LIKE I'M GONNA SHIT MYSELF TO DEATH ARGHHHHHGHHG IS THIS WHAT DYSENTERY FEELS LIKE
Pretty sure I'm going to hell because of our friendship
Last one there wins
Typing up notes at the bar and doing shots with the bartender until close on a Wednesday. This is what my second year of law school has become.
I want to go to a gay rodeo for my cross country road trip. It'll be like my very own homo country boy pilgrimage to the holy land.
People were staring and acting all judgmental and offended... Like they've never seen anyone breastfeed in a liquor store.
Okay so I just had a really great idea
no.
So unmotivated today.
Who am I kidding. So unmotivated this decade.
Look, I know why you're asking me, but just because I'm gay does not make me a wiki on butt sex. Ask a doctor or you know, the internet like everyone else.
Randomize
