i went to disney world today with my friends, met snow white, then saw her later at a bar. she is naked next to me in her bed, passwed out. when you wish upon a star...
You just took 4 shots. 2 of them were maple syrup.
it wasn't sex, it was awkward naked time.
and do you remember when you were dressing me if i had money in my bra?
Just calculated that for my last final tomorrow I need 120% to improve my grade and 53% to keep it..buying 30 packs now, go get dressed
I asked for a dramatic "funeral" look for my makeup. They judged me.
My meds have diminished my sex drive, this must be what regular women feel like
Remember that time you came over to my house and I was on the porch naked and eating peanut butter?
This Alex the guy who suck your belly ring
All the party invite said was a date and "21 to drink, 18ish to sleep over"
My life hurts
I woke up 30 minutes away from the bar, my car was at a train station, and when I got home all I got was the speechless head shake
On a scale of 1 to 10 how good of an idea would it be to pregame at the airport right now
Ten
just hooked up with a guy ON MY CAMPUS VISIT. god only knows whats gonna happen when im actually a student
I went to steal condoms from your room and all I could find was chik fil a sauce
He literally shouted this Viking war cry when he cam. Then as we laid there he sang me the most beautiful rendition of " When Irish Eyes are Smiling". I've never been more confused.
Randomize
