well,he told me "i bet you five bucks that i can right cum on the mirror with my cum" i said alright do it, lets just say he's five bucks richer...
LMAO!!! just remembered you said this to me last night. "sometimes you post too many Jesus tweets. It's not that that's really bad... But I roll my eyes and you should know that."
I was drunk but it's true
so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
I learned the names of so many hookups when they read them at graduation
The kid that passed out is still in the bathtub filled with ice and the empties
whatever. i almost had sex in a car with someone passed out in the back seat. phone's not my biggest worry.
Just thought you should know that your brother tried to febreeze his floors with cooking spray last night.
Almost told my boss I was an expert aat swallowing when he questioned my ability to take excedrin,xanax, and a vitamin all at once. It was a medicinal gang bang lubricated by arizona tea.
ive penciled you in for a day of excessive drinking
I haven't seen her in ages, how is she?
Well I woke up next to her this morning so I guess I would say she could be doing better
Bad idea to be in a car concussed. I just described his dick as an elevator. I think i meant escalator, i dont know
she used her teeth again, but this time it was out of love
Come over. We have half a bottle of jumbo champagne left and no boyfriends to slow us down
I've never seen anyone as high as you were.. you collapsed onto the kitchen floor hugging a tub of ice cream. You named it phil.
When are you getting back?
Well google maps doesn't have an estimated time for crawling... Could be days
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