Who has a tranny cab driver? I have a tranny cab driver.
I don't want to talk about it. He was like the Little Engine that couldn't get me off.
i an so hammered right now. I'm about to pass out but i just found the lion king dvd and i'm so happy words don't even describe.
I'm gonna name my first kid mufasa regardless if It's a boy or girl
So my graduate coordinator is possible gay man. I may have just found the easiest way to a degree ever.
Good plan b, put your number on all your forms. Hello gamefull employment.
Take that integrity
she smelled like a LAN party
I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
She had a baby and now works at Hooters. She is the poster child for peaking in high school.
Sorry if I put you in that 'glad we're hanging out but I'm gonna go fuck your cousin' kind of position
I'm taking a new approach to homewrecking... for science. Or I totally would. I have to see what happens between my ex & his brother when he finds out.
They're doing shots to celebrate every 15 minutes passing. You can come get them.
you know it's gonna be a good 4/20 when you start saving up for it in january.
Dude, she's the greatest salesman alive. she convinced chelsea to buy a box of Cheerios for $20. She can find your dick some willing pussy.
I've found my soulmate with the cardboard Dos Equis man.
I'm literally in my bed still trying to find the energy to take my corset off so I can binge eat oreos
Im crying watching 9/11 footage eating spray can cheese in my pajamas.
Randomize
