We will have to stop frequently for food, stretching legs, interesting things on the side of the road, and sex. So you might as well eat.
yeah it's now facebook official. i can no longer pretend shes my girl on the side
he was on top of me and all of a sudden stopped and starting picking his nose...i asked him if he was okay, he sort of looked confused, and he told me he had a booger that hurt. guess its a good thing i wasnt planning on dating this guy
y-o-u-r-e = you are, y-o-u-r = your. you are a bag of douche not your bag of douche. if you're going to insult me at least do it in proper english. that is all.
Well hello freshman 15, didn't see you there until I tried on last years summer clothes.
It involved homemade coconut rum, a waterfall, and street signs. I'll leave the rest to your capable imagination.
I thought of you while cleaning the forehead prints off my glass doors.
whatever. as long as im no longer referred to as the girl who fucked the pledge on his big brother's couch.
He'll choke me during sex but he won't eat a strip of bacon. Vegetarians are weird.
Well I will be attending the wedding with a flask of wine, potentially with a straw, and POM POMS for cheering purposes. Needless to say I will be well lubricated by your arrival..
There needs to be a crayon color for how blue my balls are
There's a time and a place for everything. Except for getting wasted at a work event, puking in the parking lot, and sleeping in your car overnight.
I'm a dude in a dress, who came to a party with Holly GoLightly, got hit on by Bambi's mom, and wants to do terrible things to Link. Halloween is weird
Well, I guess my plans of staying around the apartment and drinking my weight in boxed wine are ruined. I have a date tonight.
I just got dumped by my fuck buddy. Now I have to have sex with my husband.
Randomize
