Does leaving at 3 give Sara enough time to take the bus or are you picking her up?
I cant tell if your joking or not, but I'm picking her up
Do you need some kind of permission slip from her parents or can anyone just go and grab a high schooler these days?
my throat hurts so bad i feel like i just gave head to a cactus.
woke up to an overdrawn credit card. did you order the dawsons creek boxset last night?
i hope so.
last night was the icing on my 3 week vodka binge cake
Just walked in on the Yellow Ranger getting porked by a guy in a UD Blue Hen costume. Will somebody PLEASE think of the children.
She stole my hamster. idk who she was, she just walked in and said she knew Keith so she stayed, drank 6 beers, and then stole Charles.
the fact that he forgave me for making out with the bartender is proof that i can fuck my way out of anything.
Is that you who's passed out on my treadmill?
As we were fooling around he told me he was conceived on this bed like it would turn me on.
Day drunk and a can of soup and wine straight from the bottle and alone and on my kitchen floor.
im like basted in vodka, i went tanning and it was like i was an alcoholic turkey being cooked in a locker of doom
KEG. KEG. THE OPERA HAS A KEG. KEG STAND IN A TUX. AFTER PARTY RAVE AND KEG STANDS.
No more chicken and waffles served by drag queens at 2 AM. :(
It's not as funny as it sounds. I shit myself at the company Christmas party.
If it makes u feel any better my dick feels pretty tender dude
Randomize
