end the night at a gay bar...not sure how...but why the fuck do i have two condoms in my pocket?
I just tipped a bartender in xanax.
It has to be really easy to get midgets drunk.
If this wasn't a work function my tits would be out already.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just watched a drunk girl hand her valet ticket to a cop and walk away.
I'm eating your cookies as payment for having to listen to you. Happy sex
I woke up to Dragon Ball Z playing in Portuguese and a donut shish-kebab~ed on a dick in my face.
Thanks for listening. You're the first guy I've ever worked with who I didn't want to fuck.
I'm trying to find a place to hide weed in my mother in law's house...
Married life problems?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is Facebook telling the truth about your nipples?!
I just want to be like "i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it"
How drunk you think somebody has to be, that they think that putting out a profile pic like that can be even a slightly good idea?
Is it disrespectful or patriotic to pole dance on an american flag pole?
He has a penis. Therefore, he counts.
First walk of shame in 18 years. Divorce is going well.
Randomize