It's like I'm the Little Bo Peep of sheparding dicks.
Only someone with your twisted mind could come up with that simile. Do you sit around and read 'How to turn Beloved Childrens Stories into Sexual Analogies?' This is the 3rd time you've done this.
Tim hortons said i dont meet their criteria. What the fuck criteria is that? You put bagels in an oven.
so i gave him head in the movie theater last night. thought we were alone til I heard the clapping from the other side of the theater after he'd finished.
i just successfully used the word "hymen" in a paper...welcome to senior seminar in lit.
I can get head just about anywhere nowadays so that's not much of an incentive, coffee on the other hand...
Which is scary since we both think with our vaginas
I don't want to have to force feed him my vagina!!
Change of plans I'm coming home and shotgunning all the beer we have.
How drunk are u on a scale of one to couldn't get it up if u had a gun at ur head?
My nose hurts from that stripper beating me with her tits
The usual, im laying out. Ipod on shuffle, Large spray bottle to cool myself of and a smaller one filled with chilled vodka. I can spray the vodka right in my mouth without even opening my eyes. THIS IS LIVING....
She sprained her ankle last night trying to flash me.
I accidentally flashed three cops last night. Stone cold sober.
Did I leave the house with out a shirt or socks?
Yea, you said you didn't need them cause she was going to take them off anyways and that it would "save time".
I gave him one of my famous hand jobs.
Randomize
