You gave him head? He fingered you? A little bit of make out?
WHAT THE FUCK ITS LIKE YOU WERE THERE
It's safe to say that our attempt at trying to fuck in the grand Sierra elevator was a bad idea.
FACT: the parking lot attendant was yelling "NO SEX HERE! NO SEX" at yall.
Okay so my USC tutor just offered to eat me out. I think I'm definitely applying to USC.
Why are you surprised? I've only ever liked older guys since I was a 3 yr old crushing on her pediatrician.
Tell me I'm the only person you know who could punch someone at the bar, get escorted out, smoke a cig with the cop who almost arrested me AND get the security guy who escorted me out to buy me drinks.
I just said "okay we have 20 minutes to get each other off, ready... Set... Go!" and he picked me up and threw me on the bed. I almost came just from that.
So I got drunk last night and attempted to shave a landing strip on my vag. I now have a 8 lane highway on my crotch now. Just looks like a random ass square.
He was talking up his golf swing like other guys talk up their dick. Is this adult dating or just another flavour of douchery?
That's a good 5 hours of "I have no fucking idea what I did".
I'm too over dressed and drunk for this emergency vets office
Ah, Christ. I just saw a D lister I made out with once on a Rock Of Love rerun. Why are you asleep right now? Some weird shit is happening.
She's not answering my calls
Well it sounds like you really fucked up
WHO HOLDS A GRUDGE OVER MEMES
Jello shots? I thought you weren't drinking tonight.
Im not drinking im slurping
There is sex in the air. Be careful where you walk.
Randomize
