I'm skeptical of all drag queens.
I just saw a neon sign in a bar window that says, "open to Public" but the L is burnt out.
I'm pretty sure getting a blow job behind a bar in Rome while her little sister is throwing up in a dumpster not 5 feet away, gives entirely new meaning to the phrase "When in Rome"
You told the cop at mobil to keep it real and look both ways before crossing the street.
also, add "teaching boys to sext" to my charity work
Ive seen him cuddling a giant inflatable seahorse. Nothing could be creepier than that.
I was wondering, is there any way to hook up a lawn hose to a keg?
I yelled out look at all those hickeys. And then gave her boyfriend a high five
If you put those two in a room together it'd be like a Taylor Swift fantasy and an Adele nightmare just licking faces
Your "dubstep at ceilis" resulted in a random naked guy busting into my room and peeing all over my bathroom
Whore are you.
Is that a Yoda insult or are you asking me where I am?
Yes.
It's a mix of hot dirty sex and week old bong water
Why does my car smell like burnt toast?
I take it you don't remember trying to make grilled cheese with your cigarette lighter...
i found you passed out on the floor with a half-eaten pie. i figured youd be the last person to care if i went and banged your sister
TSA found the edibles
Fuck
Oh my god he just. Swiped them for explosives and handed them back to me
God bless California
Randomize
