I cant help but queef when the male extremity enters
What is a male extremity?
i didnt realize it was that long since you've had sex
I think his glow in the dark Star Wars sheets, at the time, really turned me on.
weed brownie and a latte, breakfast of champions
At what point are you a chubby chaser or just desperate for sex?
The freshman next to me just said "I was rocking out on my way here to Dave Matthews..." I wish I would have passed this class the first time.
I made a drinking game out of watching your DUI video, everytime you say " okay, well thats just your opinion"
I literally just smashed open my grade school piggy bank for beer money. Goodbye childhood. Hellllllo coin night.
I can't believe he just friend zoned me like that.
Dude, you're not even gay.
side note: on a scale of 1-10, how bad an idea is it to hook up with 9 cats guy?
Before consuming her Waffle House she did a few deep breaths and cleared the table to "prepare herself for this"
why did you put a dildo on the ceiling fan
the dildo had a suction cup and we had a ceiling fan what did you expect?
I just bought condoms and a potted plant, making for a top ten super weird and awkward purchase.
Just found out the last guy I hooked up with is being held in a federal prison under suspicion of stealing 175k.
I accidentally put Bacardi in my coffee this morning. I ain't even mad.
I informed him that we had less than 5 minutes left to live, and his first words were "I'm trying to think of a good They Might Be Giants quip"
Randomize
