Holy wow, I found all the old poems u wrote me back when we were in looooooooove...just sort of wild to look back on, thought u'd like that
you need to leave class get on facebook and start untagging IMMEDIATELY
"Guy Time" translaed into 10 shots apiece and me waking up covered in my own blood.
will you please explain to me as to why or how i have a dirtbike tread looking bruise on my back?
The beer-amid has reached five feet. Caitlyn has a taser. GTG
But he found my shoe...that at least deserves a handjob.
Basically, what i'm trying to say is, if you don't have something, excuse or gift, to satisfy my anger i am going to look you in the eye and piss on the floor.
Two shots of gin says this is gonna be a sloppy lab write up.
Question. Was fucking Laura an entirely regrettable decision?
like...quickly.
I tried to walk home in my heels. And I fell into a snow bank. And then I cried and a policeman came up to me and said I can't sit in a snowbank and got me a cab. So maybe that's where I left my credit card. I remember the cop asking me if I was old enough to drink, too. OMG. How embarrassing. Pretty sure I told him to "leave me alone."
She sent me nudes via email. What the fuck are we still in the 90s? Grow up
Pray for me. I just had a sex dream about Debbie Wasserman-Schultz.
I really don't think my body can handle another night of drinking
Lol you talk like you have a choice
I am worried that I am gonna die before the weekend is over
You know you've hit a new slutty low when you're simultaneously sexting and having a tea party with a 4 year old
Had to claim I'd "gone lesbian" to get my cat back. Thank God I got away from that one.
Randomize
