do you think my med school application would be worse off if "I like helping others and shit" slipped into an essay I emailed last night?
It seems to me that once you begin comparing Jesus to hercules and calling him a super pimp you should put the wine away...
I made him recite stats from the playoffs game last night before I would go down on him.
He was ugly. Like horse ugly. But he was built for power, not for speed.
These 33 Eskimo Brothers Boinked The Same Person And Couldn’t Be More Proud
It's the eternal vodka... it never seems to go away
Remember when we had a keg, and then another 5 cases... and like 30 people drank it all?
if the future wants me to fuck him, then i guss i have to
I'm not asking you to commit. I'm politely asking your penis to be my friend.
I told him to keep his feelings in his pants because they're annoying and to just fuck me.
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
define "almost". like I have enough time to watch a youtube video or oh shit, put on some goddamn pants because they're in the driveway.
Totally. Bang on. He'll be fine. He might cry into your perfect tits once in a while, but that's the price ya pay.
Again? Most people check out of hotels, they don't escape from them
Just fat and dog and sweat all over the bed. All night long.
She told me she brought a guy home but that he looked pickled. And no, that's not an autocorrect.
I asked her what she meant and she said that he looked like he had soaked in water.
Going to the ER, I'll explain later but apparently drunk me isn't allergic to peanut butter.