You tried to wear your Jesus costume into Family Christian stores and say it was a book signing.
anyone who has a picture of a ferrari with the caption "mAh DreAM caR" is getting denied as my facebook friend.
you lied. pity sex is amazing.
That's cool how's he been?
He got hit in the face with a beer bottle so he has two black eyes and 13 stitches.. He hasnt changed much.
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Everytime I sleep with him he gives me another hint to what his tattoo means. I'm like a slutty Nancy Drew.
i just overheard someone saying that they invented the 'tequila mockingbird' last night. sorry, but i found better friends
Dude i'm seriously thinking about his nipples.
At 4am he sent "uree asss ize anmazin"
We came back and there was a shotglass filled with what looks like blood. Come over soon, we're gonna try it out.
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There're making snowcones with the leftover vodka from last night. This is not the time to be making up excuses!
You said that my dog would "complete your puzzle" then you got naked and took it behind the bar
I've liked him since I puked on him on my birthday so I want it to be special.
So maybe I got drunk and hooked up with him in a hot tub? I mean that's nothing to be ashamed of, that kind of takes talent. I'd drown.
I just offered a cat a "drinky drinky" I'd say my night has started
I should've left when he told me that he only smoked crack by accident once