then she came back into the room with a neckbrace on. i thought she was getting ready for the pounding of a lifetime.
you kept calling numbers in ur phone book and saying, "I love your show, I'm a long time listener, first time caller."
We met on a dual walk of shame. It has to be love, we can't let that go to waste. I want to tell our children that story.
She dropped a weight class after every shot I took. I thought I was just drink something magical.
Guy Accidentally Starts A Group Chat With All The Girls He’s Talking To And Gets Absolutely Roasted
I saw him coke blaxckout on the subway at 9 this morning yelling at people callig himself the gatekeeper.
You made a course evaluation for your vagina? Wow. You really are a professor now.
If we order a pizza and I contribute 9 cents, is that fair?
I vaguely remember a pregnant lady reaching for my penis. When was I in an elevator?
Don't know why you're always hating on relationships. I've had chocolate pancakes accompanied by a blowjob and a blunt and it's not even 9 am. Time for mid morning shower sex. Enjoy your morning bong bowl alone asshole
The Internet Is Obsessed With This Stripper Who Dropped It Low Just To Eat A Slice Of Pizza
Also I just sneezed literally 12 times in a row so violently...boogers everywhere. Sorry to ruin the sexting. I just felt like you had to know
VAL. THIS MOTHERFUCKER IS LAYING IN MY BED WEARING A CAT SHIRT, VAL. COME SAVE ME, VAL.
This Christmas I would like to thank Jesus for cocaine.
this makes me concerned. not enough to actually do anything about it, but yeah.
Riding your boyfriend's dick for an hour then waitressing for 8 hours. Would not recommend.
I hate that I still want him to look at me as the vagina that got away.
Randomize
