Excuse me do you have gonnorhea?
Me too. Send a cab. Order food.
Her cum face looks like the large marge scene in pee-wees big adventure
you figure out which one you wanna sleep with, & I'll sleep with the other one. problem solved
Some Animals Are Total Jerks (10+ pics)
explaining to a nurse how i all most cut my finger off playing beer pong, she def just hand me a AA booklet.
I have now added draft and wells specials that different bars have to my blackberry calendar.. Help me.
Come get me...we were walking home and she kept yelling "people need to get run over more!" then she just sat down in the middle of the street saying "it just feels right."
I forgive you, at least you vote. I found out my fuck buddy isn't even registered. I won't fuck a non respectable citizen.
Yo, go checkout Kerri's Instagram quick! There's like 12 pics of her fucking some guy in a bar's bathroom. GO GO GO GO!!!!
23 Roommates Share Secrets Their Roomie Thinks They Don’t Know
You're dating a nurse! That's smart, you never know when you'll have a medical emergency. Probably liver failure.
When the cab driver starts laughing its a good indication of the standard of girls you are bringing home
Is it bad that I have more guilt over drunk eating Doritos than hooking up with my ex's best friend last night?
its not everyday you see batman on the ground with someone riverdancing on his face bourbon street never disappoints
Omg she's a human wrecking ball. I love it.
I am to reach this level of casual destruction.
Holding your hair back while you puked wasn't a choice. I was handcuffed to you.