You found a girl to hook up with at a gay bar?
No. His name was Paco. I didn't get it by choice. I never had a hickey before.
You were asking people if they could pee on you while you shotgunned beers
well when i got there she was attempting to stick the cat in her mouth.. so maybe you should go check on her
you scanned your fake to get into the dorm last night and when the lady told you it was the wrong card you looked at her and said this is who i am thursday night
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I'm so proud of your ability to turn my Charlie horse last night into anal sex.
when i got there he was on top of an air mattress in the middle of the pool with a bag of doritos and a 40 telling people he needed his space.
A girl just told me she printed out my pictures and taped them on her wall. I have to stop sleeping with virgins.
Leaving your birthday party to engage in a threesome IS allowed. I checked the rule book.
There's a bag in my room with garbage, a thong, fritos, and an electrical cord. I'm assuming it's yours
........yyyyyyeah that's me
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He wouldn't let me ride him with a Ninja Turtles hat on...
Denial and avoidance are my survival strategies for 2013.
Denial, avoidance and beer.
When the neighbors threatened to call the cops, he yelled at them that American laws didnt apply to him because he was Danish. He then sang his own version of "America fuck yeah" along to daft punk, then fell down the porch steps. Can we keep him?!?!
So apparently having sex with your co-worker in the bathroom at the staff party can get you fired.
I'm sitting here listening to fat joe and doing kegels I have given up
Im going to the gym...covered in the Brazilians cum
And how is that different than any other weeknight in your world