i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
thats the last time i clean cum out of my retainer.
Maybe she got knocked up by accident. I still refuse to believe that anyone actually INTENTIONALLY gets pregnant.
Well, if they're both my boyfriend.. Then i cheated on both of them.
Like hey, "you just spent $135k to go to a nobody law school to drive a mini van, be a dj, live in a smalllll ass apartment that smells like cats and your girlfriend fucks other guys."
Looked for my lighter in the console and found more tampons. Seriously. You're like a squirrel prepping for a hard winter. A menstruating squirrel.
There are only four things in life that are certain. 1 Death, 2 Taxes, 3 The wu tang clan aint nothin to fuck with, and 4 you will never be more important than taco bell
A big toe in my vag is not foreplay.
I gave the bike taxi guy a blowjob because I didn't have any cash. College.
I'm pants less watching buffy the vampire slayer drinking rum. I'm not that hard to impress
The only people who will bring me pizza or tacos want a commitment and I'm hungry for food not their love.
I sleep better at night when I win things. I never really weep for others.
so i just realized the reason you didn't answer my call last night is because the remote isn't a phone.
He tried to do a JoJo pose and wound up breaking his wrist in the process. Truly a story for the ages.
I'm wearing jeans from 7th grade and drinking a fucking macchiato. This better be a good day.
Randomize
