just witnessed a squirrel raping another squirrel. i couldn't look away.
The money shot is kinda like the "The End" part of a children's book isn't it?
the last three girls i tried to get with all believed in abstinence... i think gods trying to keep me from being a father
i think girls just don't want to fuck you
You know you're a nerd when you lose track of how many times you've gotten turned on watching Glee.
The fact that I woke up with my panties on the counter and a piece of pizza stuck in my sheets is what scares me.
Dude give me 4 good reasons we shouldn't trade girlfriends tonight
Def regretting not writing "will blow for extra credit" on my last final
Still trying to wash and scratch the glitter off of my dick. That stripper should be banned.
Slutty costumes are my most sacred holiday tradition! Wearing a not-slutty costume is like putting cheezwiz on a communion wafer.
I picked up a chick last night on crutches wearing a I am boobman tshirt. I love raves.
Steve brought 6 joints and 2 bottles of makers mark, Josh shat himself in the pool, and Amy blew me. Hope that extra 3 dollars an hour for working overnights is still worth it.
I just used Bacardi to dry out poison ivy.
Having sex with him is like eating mayo. Don't think about it, just do it. It's worth it.
Cum just came out of my nose. That is all.
He is 6'5, went to a Christian school and he's a violinist....I'm going to fuck the jesus right out of him.
Randomize
