you said "tonight pinky, we take over the world" and then came in my face
The mexican place next the the funeral home has dollar margaritas, our grandfather would want us to act on this... trust me i know.
No flights in Europe due to the volcano erupting. God himself is telling me to spend 4.20 in Amsterdam.
You were running around with scissors offering people free haircuts.
thanks for stopping by when you did. making a meatball quesadilla while high was a bad choice
Vegas is awesome. Its like you have a kentucky accent girls automatically assume you don't have herpes.
Now for something completely different: ive figured out how to eat a banana without insinuating something completely naughty
I can't wait to see you, I've been doing mouth stretches for the past 2 days
I'm a lady, I can't pee on the ceiling. Even I don't have that power.
She trust falled out of a window. It was like that scene from A Little Princess but with a lot more blood.
Fuck my life, there's a fry in my vagina.
She just mixed her Emergen-C with champagne... Vegas here we come!
im half tempted just to scoot up to him and whisper "I'm not wearing underwear" but idk if thats a heartfelt apology
I'm just impressed that you can puke without losing your gum
Apparently I called down to the hotel front desk and begged them to bring us pizza. They brought us tea.
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