I decided to name my penis gatorade...is it in you?
I don't know how God could bestow someone that emotionally confused with such an awesome penis.
mid puke you looked up at me and asked if it was your turn to sing
Crumbling up chips, putting them in salsa, eating with spoon. New level of stoner fatassery. Its so genius/delicous i'm not even ashamed
About six hours after the bottle of smirnoff, I was googling "losing your stomach lining" and calling my mom for help. She has experience.
I wonder if our vaginas are like "o thank god, no strangers breaking in tonight." Baahhhh sooo bad
Lets go see if some hobos will give us a prostate massage for a 40 ounce.
I just think that exercising will really get in the way of my painkiller induced nap time rituals. There's gotta be a better way.
Oh no, we smoked the revival weed. It came in a Batman bag. It hit like justice. And orphans.
You talked the cab driver into taking a shot from your flask at a red light because "Ray Charles would want him to"
I've had three separate encounters with cops in the last 9 hours.... In two different states
Sometimes I actually rage on Tuesday, come back, and do homework drunk and pull an all nighter.
Is there something wrong with us? Seriously.
Possibly, but I'd rather not fix it.
I just don't understand why we can't have sex in the house. I'll come see you but I'll have to think about the barn thing.
I've been getting a lot of emails from patron lately for being a great customer. Is that awesome, or should I start thinking about seeking help?
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