I have a pussy blister if you wanna poke at it with a needle tomorrow...by this text i realize just how strange our relationship is, especially because you're probably excited
I think you mean your blister is filled with pus...atleast i hope
fyi, take the long route to the library. the "can i be your baby daddy?" homeless man migrated back for winter
Drunken horseback riding is the absolute worst decision i've ever made in my life.
Peach margaritas. And fuck whatever you're about to say, the girl to guy ratio is like 6:1. I need those odds
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There's always one sober annoying person at a party. I hate responsible people. I just wanted to show everyone my nipples. There cute. She didn't have to stop me
If the boyfriend of the drunk girl you just met asks her if she made a "special friend" you're going to have a threesome. For future reference.
just letting you know, you took a hit of the blunt while sleeping. happy birthday
It feels like I'm breathing out my heart and it spreads through my limbs to my fingertips.
You don't have a penis so I'm not texting you at this hour. This is penis texting hour only.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
idk wtf was in that bud but I was talking to my dead dog last night bro holy shit
You know that feeling when you wake up and your whole body just smells like a penis?
I smoked all his weed and he hasn't noticed yet. But I might need a place to crash when he does
Haha. I have resting bitch face. He has I want y'all to die face. It's a subtle difference
Hi I am on my way. I stopped and got the cheeseburger you asked for. Are you gonna pay me back?
Who is this?
You are now at the point where people no longer question whether or not you might be on drugs. They now know for certain that you are
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