I'm gunna smoke cigs today. I feel like I'm in that powerful and gritty mood which requires them
sorry I missed your bday party.,I was vid chatting with that new guy I'm talking to all night...happy biirthday though
I drank enough to make her look pretty . . It worked and i threw up while going at it
You give one guy a hand job and suddenly everyone wants to get with you
you tried to tell me that ice cream had no calories because they were "frozen"
I looked at you and you stared at me dead in the eyes then sprayed febreze at your crotch and winked.
I knew when her mom came in spraying me with Febreeze telling me I smelled like shame it was going to be a rough day.
It would just be icing on the fucked up cake we're baking, if he got me pregnant.
There are twenty thousand men on this campus, please have sex with someone who isn't my drug dealer
Oh and no more ball pics to my family. Got in a little trouble over that. They have no sense of humor.
I found him on the floor in the kitchen eating cheese and tomato. I mean a block of cheese and whole tomatoes, he was alternating. Thats why your cheese has teeth marks.
After the first time we had sex he kept saying "I'm proud of you" over and over again
For starters i called the cops on myself for trying to destroy the ladys decorations
we were all too drunk to realize that the cat wasnt yours
His mom came while we were asleep naked and started asking me about my plans after high school... Is that even a thing.
Randomize
