Teenaged girls are God's best work and the Devil's best tool. Remember that my friend.
bro...we were banging on her floor and her dog walked in and started licking my balls
we did anal to Party In The USA and he busted to Firefies .. felt like we were fucking in a middle school dance
Have you been tested recently?
Well I got my shots when I was a baby so I think I'm immune
I'm texting you from across the beer pong table to tell you that the drunk chick you brought over needs to disappear. like now.
I keep calling his kid the wring name. This is not helping my cause. And by cause mean his dick
it was not a walk of shame, it was a ferry ride of shame, and i'm not ashamed, so technically it was just an early morning ferry ride. wearing yesterday's clothing
and semen
I have to stop drunkenly making out with guys just because they're tall or have a beard.
a 6'8" white kid in a Lin jersey just wandered out of my gay kid brother's room. when does spring break end, again?
All I've succeeded in doing since I saw you is drool on my shoulder
Please come over, I'm slowly melting into a ball of sexual frustration. If I'm not dead by the end of the day be very surprised.
Easter bunny might get some gnarly munches and not even have enought candy left to hand out
Our Tuesday night drunk Irish step dancing was on point tonight.
I'm never going out with the ashleys again. it was whoreible. terrifyingly whoreible.
No one needs to know about the barren wasteland that is my vag. Sometimes i visualize my cervix rocking back and forth wondering where everybody went.
I just pictured that. It's reading a book.
Randomize
