you could play connect the dots with the people ive fucked in this room
It's sad how good I am at giving people diseases
I just watered my plants with apple juice. Look what you made me do.
You kept calling me your small dog last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yeah I'm about to go down a waterslide that comes out a 2nd story window. I love college.
if I could send you my dick right now I would. that's how good of a friend I am.
Close your eyes and stop texting and think about puppies. You'll be fine.
She insisted on cleaning her room in the dark. 5 minutes in, she forgot what she was doing and started putting shirts on instead of hanging them up.
Have you ever stopped and thought "I do NOT want to be inside of this person right now. Or ever." Because you should.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Update: that felon in Georgia I slept with is now a police officer. What a wonderful world
he just cleaned his wound with pinnacle whipped
I'm pmsing and only have one functional foot
There is a huge fucking spider in my bathroom....I can just burn our apartment down right? What do you need me to grab?
We had a company shotgunning beers contest in the parking lot today, and I won. God bless America!
I just used a coke ridden $20 bill to buy Girl Scout cookies
Randomize