now i know why they say having sex with her is the equivalent to licking a pay phone
Segways are the fanny packs of transportation. Useful in some situations, but you always look like a tool when using one.
Just seen on a tshirt : "fake titties taste funny"
he likes ron paul.... that's all i'm going to say....
i only understood the part that said mucho orgasmos
What's the second line of that rhyme that starts "Vicodin before scotch...?"
Hahaha I asked him about her bjs and he said "I would not wish that on anyone"
He is eating chips off the floor in the emergency room..
I just threw out a whole Christmas ham, 12 positive pregnancy tests, 3 empty vodka bottles and by ex boyfriends Latina porn collection in the same garbage bag. The homeless person who goes through the bins tonight knows I have nothing left to loose.
Chuck job is nothing more than to be my dick stand when I'm too drunk to hold it while pissing
I started rolling down the window so he pulled into a gas station and i puked all over the side of the car while some dude stared at me. I waved and we drove away
someone stole all your weed so you told us you were planning each of our deaths
He went down on me while I was on the phone with my grandma.
that guy was staring at your tits.
nah, more like they were staring at him, and his girlfriend, and her less than adequate bosom. they pitied the fool.
point taken, oh mistress of the bosoms.
Wait. How did I get engaged last night?
Randomize
