Just shot my load on a stink bug. Thought you should know.
its always fun the next morning to look around the room and see where all the clothing landed.
stop changing my ringtone to people fucking, it looks bad at work
it's like, God thought about making her pretty then changed his mind at the last second
Just remember that she is a giant dick-sucking forehead and you are better than that.
We have a tower of vodka coming. OF VODKA
I vaguely remember making out with his tattoo (?) and giving him an awesome massage and then I passed out on his floor. Shrug
We have a bucket list tonight. Not done yet. Gotta climb a building
I'm surprised I didn't lose anything last night. Except maybe my dignity but other than that we gucci.
please come back they are interrogating me about masturbation
lost my vibrator and now I have to masturbate manually. The struggle is fucking real.
…wtf were in those pills mom gave me
I broke another vibrator the other day. Abstinence is not for me.
I need to hurry up and get over my feelings for him so next year's tipsy reunion sex won't be clouded by emotions.
I FOUND A VIBRATOR IN MY BABY BROTHERS ROOM. IM FREAKIN OUT MAN ITS BIGGER THEN MINE
put it back and chill out ok
NO FUCK HES 15 WHO EVEN SOLD HIM THAT HES A BABY
Randomize
